This week is gonna be busy. I can't really get into the nitty gritty details of why, but there's a lot of shifting. People shifting places, offices switching hands and entire stacks of casework that have become part of the native landscape, dare I say even office landmarks, are being displaced and/or condensed. I am one of the lucky ones who gets to move. They called us volunteers in a recent meeting and applauded how we stepped forth, like we were going to the frontlines of a world catastrophe to help out. I really can't remember whether I can call my move voluntary or involuntary, though.  I remember I had an alterior motive. Which, of course, is the important part.

I have been hawking to get my old office back. When I say office, yes, I mean four full walls, attached to a ceiling and a floor, with a door. Before you go any further in thinking I'm a complete asshole because you may work in a bullpen and have to not only listen to the people around you but also look at them while they look back at you, I do want to say that the office does come with a few issues:

  1. It is down the hall from Pear Bottom and Mr. Clean. Like screaming distance. Although I can't imagine Mr. Clean to scream.
  2. It is right next to the Lunch Room. That means from the hours of noon to about four, there is no silence to be found. At least it's a good way to catch up on what's going on with Administrative Assistant A's cat, Boopsie. But, the worst is that all the food filters and STAYS in that office all day long. People really like curry, too.
  3. Added to this, the vending machine runs right up against the wall where my back is. This is especially thrilling when a candy bar gets stuck. You can guess what happens to the particular project I'm working on, though.
  4. When I have a coworker working with me in that office, there is NO space. I need a lot of space for my, uh, shit. Unfortunately, Cohabitation Mate and myself are going to run into some issues with this.
That's just a few off the top of my head. I think it also floods when it torrentially rains. But, I did have an alterior motive to being a volunteer. I was hoping, since Cohabitation Mate is now on a part-time basis, I could have him moved out to my current cage. So, essentially, we would swap out. Did I mention I am pure evil? Really, I just miss having a door. But, moreso than that, I will again be within the orbit of the rest of the paralegals, so I won't feel so... out of place.

So, I am currently getting ready for my move. I am organizing my file folders on my computer. Which is very important, I think. I just peeked inside our firm's spam folder and was surprised to even find one email. Evidently, our office has one of the best blockers out there, because it knows to throw out the Monster.com emails blanketing lawyers, suggesting they throw their current occupation away for something much more extravagent. Perhaps a potential opportunity as a Rite-Aid cashier? Or how about a career changer like a Janitor at Sign Engineering Corp? Well, only if you're a Spanish-speaking attorney, my friend! Or, how about Miss Cleo arising out of obscurity to offer her psychic abilities to help the courtroom counsel? Okay, I made that one up, but you get the point. I'm obviously very busy getting ready for this move. So, I'd better get back to it.

DAILY REASON FOR LIVING RATIO: 5.4